Book review: Women of Pride by Lakshmi Vishwanathan

The first time I heard the word Devadasi was about 22 years ago, when as part of my job, I was assigned to accompany a few people visiting the Devadasi rehabilitation program by an NGO in Saundathi in Belgaum. The town is known for its historic Yellamma temple, also known as Renuka temple, where girls are dedicated to Goddess Yellamma in an elaborate ceremony once a year, and become Devadasis, also called Jogatis. What I learned about the Devadasis in this visit was from the NGO reps, and they painted a picture of abject poverty, prostitution, exploitation, and disease. Unfortunately, what I remember most is their matted hair, which was the first thing the NGO helped get rid of when they convinced a Devadasi to get out of that system.

I had visited the Yellamma temple, and the homes of several ex, as well as practicing devadasis, in remote villages in that district. The poverty cannot be denied, and for a long time now that is what has been driving the parents to dedicate their young daughters to the Goddess. When the girls attain puberty, they are immediately claimed by men who pay small amounts of money, which enables the parents to eke out a living. Many many of them eventually make their way to cities like Bombay and become one among the thousands in the red-light district. Basically, it has turned into a religion-sanctioned prostitution racket.

That visit stayed with me for a very long time. I was intrigued by the Devadasis, their history, and their lives, and wanted to know more, but life took over. When I saw a review of ‘Women of Pride’, I had to pick it up.

What I found was that the Devadasi tradition of Saundathi was nowhere close to what was depicted in this book. But it was a fascinating read, nevertheless. Where did the term Devadasi come from, what does it mean, who were these women, what did they do? There are so many myths debunked in this book. The Devadasi heritage is one of empowerment, not exploitation. The women were married to the Deity, and played important roles in temples, as well as in kings’ courts. They were educated, cultured, independent, powerful, and held in a high regard in society. How progressive the society was then!

The book not only traces the history of the Devadasis but elaborates on what caused their downfall too. When the British came, they brought with them colonial prejudices and prudishness, and began taking control of temples. Undermining and ultimately destroying Indian culture in order to divide and rule became their utmost priority. The Devadasis were branded with the label of immorality, their children were labelled illegitimate, their assets including the lands that were given to their ancestors by kings were seized and they were left to languish in poverty. In the end, because of their various laws, the Devadasi system came to be regarded as a social evil that needed to be abolished from society.

The stories of all the famous Devadasis mentioned in the book gives us a glimpse of our rich culture and heritage. It tells us how Bharatanatyam as a classical dance form evolved over centuries and came to be what it is today.

This book was an eye-opener of sorts for me, but has left me slightly unsatisfied too. I now want to read more on the subject, especially the Devadasi culture of Saundathi. Any recommendations are welcome!

Book review: Kintsugi by Anukrti Upadhyay

 

Picked up this book for the title, and because of the author’s other two books I’ve loved – Bhaunri and Daura. Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken things with gold, stems from the philosophy that damage is a part of that object’s history, and does not need to be hidden. Rather, it gets enhanced by gold. I love that.

But what happens when people break? How do we mend our broken hearts and souls? Doesn’t the philosophy behind Kintsugi apply to humans too? How do we teach ourselves to accept and love our damaged selves and start believing that we are stronger and more beautiful now because of that damage and not despite it?

This book is about extraordinary women, incomplete, beautiful, broken, and damaged, connecting India and Japan, also taking us to Singapore and Borneo. Most of these women find the strength to mend themselves with gold, enamel, precious stones, and love, and a few of them believe they are too broke to be mended ever.

The simplicity of the writing is contradictory to the complex characters and the way their relationships are intertwined throughout the story. Despite this complexity, there is also a sense of serenity, calmness, and a quietness between the sentences. It’s a feeling difficult to describe, but something you won’t miss noticing.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and will happily give it 5 stars. Kudos to the author Anukrti Upadhyay for this beautiful beautiful story. I must also mention, I finished reading this 200+ page book in just under 3 days! 

 

 

 

Darkness

The kind that creeps in and catches you unawares, even as you are naively living your sunshine life, believing that maybe some of it is behind you.

The soft velvet kind that tempts you, pulls you towards itself slowly, compels you to reach out, yields to your touch and dips a little at first, gets even darker, and pulls you in even deeper.

The kind that does not envelop you all at once but slowly erases you from your outer edges, imperceptibly, until one day you're blacker than black like the Darkness itself. 

The kind that shows itself suddenly, makes sure you know it's here to stay, and stays on as your shadow, never wavering, always by your side, always following. 

The kind that has always stayed by your side, just at that blurred edge of your vision, never announcing its presence, never revealing itself, but never letting your forget.

The kind that has always been there, taking you in its arms when you needed it to, enveloping you in its cool yet warm embrace, keeping you safe until the promised dawn.

 🖤

  

 

Chennabhairadevi by Dr. Gajanana Sharma

 

It’s been a full day since I have finished reading ‘Chennabhairadevi’ by Dr. Gajanana Sharma and I still feel hung over with all the emotions the books made me feel.

 

Somewhere along history’s murky depths, the story of this extraordinary queen, the last ruler of the Tuluva-Salva lineage who probably had the longest reign as a woman ruler has been forgotten, except in the memories of people in some parts of her erstwhile empire.

 

Almost all stories of kings and queens are filled with wars fought, kingdoms conquered and the wealth they accumulated. Chennabhairadevi did not care for any of these but the welfare of her subjects. Throughout her rule, her focus stayed on building up her people’s lives and keeping her kingdom together.

 

How many of us is aware now that she singlehandedly kept the Portuguese from occupying all of the land south of Goa? That she provided refuge to thousands of people who were desperate to escape the Portuguese’s forced religious conversions in Goa? She built up the spice trade with Europe, especially pepper, and earned the title “Raina de Pimenta” or the ‘Pepper Queen’ from the Portuguese.

 

The book not only describes in vivid detail the queen’s shrewdness, her idealism and her spiritualism, but also manages to show her sensitive side, and her instinctive way of responding to her people’s needs. Other people in the story like Jinadatta, Shabale and Satrajita have such depth of characters and I will not forget them soon. The way the places, villages, nature, forts and palaces have been described took me straight there and is another reason why I’m still hung over!

 

The last few pages of the book brought tears to my eyes. The scene where the 74-year old queen stands on the balcony of her palace in pouring rain, her hands chained, admitting to her people that she failed in protecting their land, requesting them to remain calm and peaceful and assuring them that they will not be harmed is so poignant, and shows the author’s writing prowess. My only complaint about this book is that I didn’t want it to end. I could have just kept on reading.

 

The book might be a work of fiction, although based on facts and events painstakingly put together piece-by-piece by the author, but the fact shines through that Chennabhairadevi was an extraordinary queen. It pains my heart that even with all my interest with Indian history, I had not heard of this queen until just a few years ago, who ruled almost the entire coastal Karnataka, (the place where my origins lay) for a whopping 54 years!

 

The author has written in detail about why she remained in the shadows all these years in his introduction to the book, and that itself is though-provoking, even before you start reading the actual story.

 

It makes me furious and frustrated that stories like hers are not told, but are kept hidden, deliberately and sometimes with envy and malice. These are the people on whom our heritage stands. THIS is our history, and THIS is what needs to be taught to our children.

 

I hope this book gets translated to English soon, so that more people even outside of Karnataka can read it and appreciate this powerful, brave, benevolent and kind queen.

 

The Last Queen - Rani Jindan

As with almost all books about India’s last queens and kings, this book too made my heart ache with every page I turned. These stories are all filled with lies, deceit, betrayal, oppression, bad decisions juxtaposed with a whole lot of bravery, love and honour, making them very difficult, yet fascinating reads.

In ‘The Last Queen’, Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni’s writing as always brings out all these human traits and emotions into sharp focus. Rani Jindan comes across as a beautiful, passionate, stubborn and strong woman who is also as flawed as any other human. Her struggles to protect her son and his heritage against all odds and her acceptance of his choices is heart rending. It’s a beautifully written book, and I couldn’t put it down once I started reading it. So different from Divakaruni’s usual theme or story telling style, but still as brilliant as any of her other books.

For sure, it’s a tale that needed to be told. How many more queens and kings are lost within the folds of time, whose stories we don’t know? This is why I’m drawn to historical fiction. Real people, real stories, lives so different than ours, yet in so many ways so similar. I hadn’t heard of Rani Jindan before I read this book. And having read this now, I feel hungry for even more stories like hers.

Deepavali 🪔

"'Twas a light that made darkness itself appear a thing of comfort.

- Robert Southey

The traditional Deepavali lantern or 'kandeelu' as we call it, did just that to me. They still evoke fond memories of lights, delicious food, new clothes and a general feeling of love, laughter and warmth.

It was one of the must-haves of Deepavali as were growing up, hanging right outside the house on the porch, spilling muted light into a pool of warm glow. I vaguely remember the excitement of the whole family participating with comments, opinions, advice and anticipation as the lantern was being hung up just before Deepavali every year, but I clearly remember standing under it afterwards, gazing at the beauty of it and a general feeling of "all's right with my world" filling up my heart and making me insanely happy.

Those colourful paper lanterns were made by local artisans and sold at the local market around Deepavali. In recent years they seem to have disappeared and have been replaced by cheap plastic versions. Chinese plastic lanterns in garish colours seem to have flooded the shops and the only other alternative are the cloth ones with mirrorwork on them, that you find hanging in almost every restaurant and cafe in touristy places like Goa.

I've been searching for the lanterns from my childhood for many many years now, but haven't had any luck.

 

 

So this year I decided to make my own version of a lantern. My medium is yarn, and my art is crochet, so I went with that. I did some research for a pattern but could not find any that I liked, so I winged it, and crocheted this lantern.

If you do crochet and want to know how I made this, please ask and I'll write up the pattern for you. 

 

It kind of looks like stained glass and looks absolutely gorgeous hung up on my balcony with a soft yellow light bulb inside. 

 

Just look at the light pattern it throws out! 

 

Muted light - check

Warmth - check

Feeling of accomplishment - check

😇

 

For the next year's Deepavali though, I AM definitely learning how to make my own paper lantern like the old ones. You know, the octagonal ones where each panel has a different colour, and has trails of paper streaming from the bottom... If you know where I can buy them, or a tutorial which will teach me how to make one, please let me know in the comments and I'd be forever grateful to you!

Happy Deepavali, everyone! I wish upon you a festival full of sweet childhood memories, a home full of light, a heart full of joy and a life full of love. 

 

♥️🪔

 

Halubai

 

Rice, coconut and jaggery - three things that define Havyaka cuisine. When all the three combine to make a dish, with very little else added, how awesome do you think it will turn out?

Although I don't have a big sweet tooth, halubai is something I will never get tired of eating. With its melt-in-the-mouth, jelly-like texture, you hardly feel it disappearing down your throat, but leaves such a lingering sweet flavour in your mouth...my absolute, all-time favourite sweet.

There are several versions of halubai recipes out there, but I wanted to write down Amma's version of it which I love, so I'll always remember. It's slightly more gooey than the popular version. Here's the recipe if you would like to try it too:

Ingredients:

(enough for 4 people (although I could eat the whole thing myself at one go if no one was looking and judging))

1 cup rice

1 medium size coconut

1cup jaggery powder or shaved jaggery (slightly more if you like it sweeter)

A pinch of salt

Crushed cardamom seeds from 4-5 pods

Ghee 2 tsp

Pure coconut oil 3-4 tsp

Prep:

- Wash and soak the rice for 3-4 hours.

- Grate or chop the coconut and grind with a little water. It need not be very fine. Coarsely is ok. With a thin muslin cloth, strain the ground coconut to get its milk. Add a little water to the coconut and strain again. Do this two more times or until the water you strain is very thin.

- Grind the rice fine and add enough water to get it to a milk-like consistency.

- Smear a thin layer of ghee on a plate and keep aside for pouring later. You can even place banana leaves on the plate if you have it on hand and smear ghee on it.

Method:

1. Combine all the ingredients except the coconut oil in a wide thick-bottomed pan. (Amma uses an antique bronze uruli passed down from my grandparents.)

 

 

2. Place the pan on the stove with the flame on low and start stirring.

 

 

 

3. Keep stirring. (You can't multitask when you're cooking this. It needs constant stirring!) The mixture will start to thicken soon. Make sure that it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan.

 

4. Keep stirring and mixing for about 10 minutes.

 

 

 

5. The halubai is done when it stops sticking to the pan and comes away, and is thick enough to fall in folds.

6. Turn off the heat and pour the halubai on to the prepared plate and smoothen the surface. 

 

 

7. Drizzle coconut oil on the top.

8. Once it's slightly cooled, you can cut them into any shape you like.

 

Tadaa it's ready to be all gobbled up!

Silence at dusk

 

I stopped to watch these birds on the tree

And they stopped chattering to watch the sky

They forgot to fly...

And I forgot to walk on.

~ ash

2020…ing

Nine months into this Godawful year! Feels surreal, right out of a futuristic novel where Earth is bombarded with apocalyptic events like a viral pandemic, floods, earthquakes, bombings and rioting. Except it's not fiction, but 2020. A world gone mad.

But personally it’s also been a year of revelations, despite the constant worry and fear. Life has slowed down so much, and the mad hurrying without pause feels like an other life now. There are things I learned, and some things were unlearned.

So I thought I’ll sum up what this year has been like for me so far. 30 years down the line if my grandchild asks me “what was 2020 like for you, ajji?” Then I’ll have this post to look back at and remember! 😬

So I’ve been...

Working... from home for 6 months now and not going back to office any time soon. I've tried this whole work from home thing before and I haven't liked it at all. There were too many distractions at home and I lacked discipline. But this time it has surprisingly been different for me. I'm loving working from home, mainly because I don't need to rush in the mornings and evenings and I get time now to focus on other important things like health!

Crocheting… a pocket shawl currently, a lap blanket and a granny square blanket in progress, and finished crocheting a few baby clothing sets (sweaters, booties, caps, mittens, diaper covers) a baby cocoon, some baskets, some pot holders, some earphone holders, some mask extenders/ear savers. a pair of curtain ties, a pair of sock-slippers, some caps... and I'm sure I've missed listing a few. Phew!

Cooking... foods I've never tried to cook before. I've had so much time on my hands now that everyone is home and I don't need to rush around. We aren't even eating out or getting food from outside, but cravings hit as usual right! 😅 I've baked, roasted, blended, fried, steamed, boiled, sauteed and stir-fried to my heart's content and I still haven't tired! 

Eating… only home-cooked food. There are healthy days and there are not so healthy days, but I like to think I haven't rolled (geddit? 😁) too far down the hill!

Moving... much more than before, but still not enough. Yoga for an hour, walking for another hour, the intention is for me to do both everyday, but you know where these intentions go... 😝

Gardening... planting, pruning, watering, weeding, and giving a lot of love to my plants. They have been giving me love right back. One time I even caught myself talking to my plants and looked up to see someone from a balcony above staring at me bemused (maybe wondering if they need to call someone to take me away). 

Missing… trees and plants and flowers and the open sky; wind in my hair, sun on my face; the sea, the waves, the salty spray; sinking my toes into the wet sand; the very frequent trips to obscure ruined forts and temples steeped in history, the absolutely best feeling of being lost in bygone eras; window shopping with my sister, walking aimlessly forever and then eating at our usual Chinese joint; watching cartoon movies in the theatre with my kids and watching them sit on the edge of their seats, popcorn forgotten, fully immersed in the movie; visiting with my darling little nephews - I’m missing so much of their growing up 😒...

Seeing... Bataany grow up so much in the last 6 months. She’s becoming so independent, so responsible, she’s developing strong opinions, and is not afraid to express them. For someone who’s just turned a teenager, she’s so sweet and caring, and very aware of everyone else’s emotions and feelings. And not least of all, she’s watching, cooking, and baking a lot more and perfecting her techniques. 

Realizing... how much of a homebody I really am. I love being home, pottering around the house decorating, rearranging stuff, cooking, cleaning and doing all the odd chores around the home. (Except for folding clothes and mopping the floor!😛)

Reading... a LOT nowadays, much more than usual. Devouring them greedily, while cooking, while eating, before bed, first thing in the morning, and any little free time in between. A lot of historical fiction, some history, some fantasy, some historical fantasy, some magical realism, some Kannada books, many English ones... 

Looking forward to… two whole weeks of no work, pigging out on food cooked by amma, sitting out on the porch and watching the incessant rain, maybe a few trips to the beach, Ratha beedi for a peek at my Krishna and my favourite temple elephant, and most of all, winding down a bit.